Without you
by ShadowWolf2561
Summary: The days that follow the end of Persona 4 for Naoto.(Complete redo of the persona 4 Noato thing I did long ago)
1. What do I do now?

Without you | Chapter 1 – What do I do now?

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it**

**This is a re-upload/re-doing of the Blue detective story I kind of started a while ago. I didn't like how it turned out and the first chapter was full of mistakes. I decided I could try again. I'm going to remove the original at some point.**

"Please don't forget about us over there!"

I don't know what time it is. I can't remember the day. Today is not a day I want to remember. Today he left to return home. When I said I would join him I was almost serious. Had he asked then maybe I would have. I don't know. I'm new to all these feelings. I don't understand how I'm supposed to cope with it. Maybe one of the others would understand, but I fear to ask them of such things. My feelings should be no concern of theirs. It's not that I don't want to tell them. It's that I'd rather not bother them with what is most likely the smallest of problems in life. Would they even understand? Maybe, but how can I risk it? I'm sure this will all pass in some number of days. I'll just go home now.

The train shelter is as warm a place as I can find. It's raining quite heavily and I did not bring an umbrella with me. I should have learnt by now that the weather is rather unpredictable. It's dark. Everyone else went home long ago. I'm not sure why I stayed. They invited me to join them at Junes but I declined. Made up some quick excuse about needing to gather some notes on an investigation. Once they left I just stood there. Watching out into the distance of the train tracks. Somewhere inside I was hoping that the next train would come and inside would be him. It was not impossible though it was very unlikely. It's getting colder. I should leave soon but I don't want to get caught in the rain and catch a cold. I've started to lose feeling in my fingers. If I run I should be able to keep somewhat dry right?

I'm running as fast as I can while attempting to hold my hat onto my head and still be able to see. My hat keeps the rain off of my head for a while but it is not water proof. Soon my hair will be drenched and I'll be ill. Am I being over-dramatising thing? I don't think so. I must keep myself healthy if I am to stay alive. There is still so much I wish to do before I die. Maybe I am being dramatic. I mean it's not like I'm going to die from a cold can I? Also not sure. I will have to research when I get home. How far is home? I'm not sure where I am but I'm not going to stop running now. It's too cold. In the distance I can see the glowing light of my bedroom window. I didn't leave it on and my grandfather is away with business. Could it be a thief? A murderer? Kanji wearing my clothes? It could be any of them. It's frightening that I think he would do that but I have good reason to. I'm not going to explain it though. Too busy. I need to figure out who is in my house.

I finally reached the door only to find that it is locked. They must have gone in through on open window. I reach into my pockets to find the key but seeing as my hands are wet and frozen I am unable to do much other than drop the key into a puddle of muddy water. It's too dark for me to see it and even if I could I still have no feelings in my hands. I can't give up though because Kanji may or may not be going through my items of clothing. Maybe even Rise... Using the torch on my phone I search through the water to find my lost key. With the light it is much easier to find but the water is even colder than my hands. Going through the 'pain(?)' I unlock the door and enter the house as quiet as possible for me. I made sure to lock the door behind me.

Before going upstairs I walk into the kitchen to pick up something in case there is a murderer upstairs. A knife is too violent. I pick up a cloth bag and fill it with used batteries. This should be fine. I slowly walk up the stairs and towards my room. I can hear things being moved around. There is definitely someone in there. Suddenly I hear footsteps from inside the room coming closer to the door. I hide and wait. Once a human looking figure comes into view I swing the cloth bag into its face causing it to fall to the floor with a odd sounding screech. I couldn't see what I had hit until I moved my hair out of my eyes.

"Here" I said a I handed the now bloodied nosed Teddie a bag of ice. "Thanks" He responded as he took it and covered his face with it. I stare at him with an angry face. He does not seem to be that bothered about how I was the one that caused his new face wound. I have a reason though. "What were you doing in my room?" I ask with an annoyed expression. He turns to me and smiles. "Looking for you Nao-chan." He still has that stupid smile of his even with a bag of ice over his face. It bugs me. "You could have called." I say, sighing. "How did you even get in here?" He seems confused by my question. He lowers the ice and says "I was locked in here by the others. They said we were all going to scare you, but when you didn't show up they all left. I stayed because I knew you would come back for me." His answer confuses me. So I ask "Any idea why they would do that?" He looks at me, still holding that stupid smile. I don't like people in my house. I don't like people in my room.

Teddie explained to me that they thought I would be sad about his (Yu Narukami) leaving and that scaring me would cheer me up because you know, That's how things work in their heads. Idiots. I'm not sad at all. In fact, I believe I am dealing with this very well. I'm not so sure though. I mean I can't even think his name without breaking down and cr... Never mind that. Anyway. It's not like I was his only friend. If they should be cheering anyone up it should be his self proclaimed girlfriend, Not me. Even so... That's not to say I didn't... No. As if I could. I need to take my mind off of this entire thing.

I send Teddie on his way. He waves to me and I wave back. I'm not sure where he lives. I don't care where he lives. I want to be alone for now. As I turn back into my house I sneeze. I lower my head in defeat and head towards the kitchen for some cold medicine. I take it and head to my room, fall onto my bed and instantly fall asleep.

**| The next day |**

My eyes open to to the blinding sunlight coming from the window. My first thought is 'Ah! My eyes. Hands, quick, cover.' I cover my eyes with my arms. I get up out of bed to close the curtains and see that I did not change. I'm still wearing my blue trousers, my blazer, shirt, White socks and my detectives cap. After closing the curtains I head to the bathroom. I know there is a mirror in there. When I see my self in the mirror I feel as if I should go back to bed. I haven't been sleeping much anyway. This will be my catchup for that. Maybe it will even get rid of the bags under my eyes. I head back into my room and lie down on my bed. I don't bother to get changed again. I'll shower later and put something else on.

After resting a little I took a shower and changed. Now I am reading in bed. I have sound proofed my door so that I can ignore it. If anyone needs my they have my phone number. Either way I am sick and am not leaving this room. As I begin to read the next chapter of my detective novel my phone begins to ring. The caller ID says '3Rise3.' She set that herself. She asked if I wanted her number and I thought I may need it, so I agreed. She then stole my phone and set it all herself. Even her own ring tone. I never needed it. She just sent me lots of pictures of herself wearing different clothes. I decide to answer and began to tell her how I am sick so I can't do anything today but she overtakes me by saying that it is important that I go to her house right now. After many failed attempts at saying no I reluctantly agree. I set down my book and look out the window. What could it be that she wants?

**So uh.. Yeah. That was a thing. Please say if you like that style of writing? Am I good at it o.O**

**It was hard writing in first person in present tense as a girl considering I'm not one. Although Naoto is kind of a guy. So you know. Whatever. Anyway. Yeah. Like and review :D**


	2. Is my coping method working?

Without you | Chapter 2 – Is my coping method working?

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Persona or Atlus**

Today is a sunny day. I don't want to be about here because I hate how bright it is. I'm waiting at the riverbank as asked by Rise, When I arrived at her house there was a note on her door that said to meet here, and the sun is reflecting off of the water and into my eyes. If I turn around the metal 'Riverbank' Sign will give the same effect. Either way I am probably going to go blind by the end of today. Do I talk to much about the sun? Is this what people deal with normally? I guess I'm complaining about nothing again. I should warn myself not to do that. Maybe I could get an assistant that does things like that for me. I'll think about it. Before that I need to figure out what Rise wants. I've been waiting a long time. If she doesn't show up in the next 10 minutes I'm going back home. I look at my watch and my mind is filled with 'Him' again. Christmas eve. I was alone at home. I'd made a watch for him that would connect to my own watch so that he could tell how close I was to him. It may seem like that was self-centred but it was not. It worked both ways. I would have been able to see how close he was to me. I wanted to know that he was close... That doesn't matter though. I never got to give him his gift. I don't know who he spent Christmas eve with but I know that it was not me. Like I said. I was alone. It was probably Rise, maybe Yosuke and the others. No one seemed to talk about what they did with him. Only about what we all did as a group.

Enough with the memories! I hate it when my mind does this. The time reads 12:00. Its almost the time in which I would eat lunch. Maybe I should go to Junes? Or maybe the Central shopping district? I'll think about it. I still have to wait another five minutes. Whatever she wanted can not have been that important if she is this late for it. I wonder about her mentality sometimes. I don't think she is crazy, I just think she may be a little stupid. No... Stupid is too harsh a word. What's the right word? I can't think of one that's any less insulting. Never mind.

Just as I am about to give up and go to get food I hear the loud shouting of Rise who stands by the stairs leading down to the river bank, I am on the pier looking into the water. I turn to face her and see her smiling and waving. She is also wearing the same clothes that she wears every time I am forced into going somewhere with her, other than a few occasions. Now that I look closer she is carrying what looks like a poorly made picnic basket. The sudden realisation falls on to me like that one time Kanji fell on me. I'm not sure where I was going with that but I understand why I was shouted out here while ill.

I glare silently at Rise as she opens the basket. I can't see what's inside so I assume that Rise has a bomb and is going to blow up the riverbank. Or not. I'm just kind of bored and my head is killing me. From the basket Rise lifts a small box covered in a cloth. Maybe I was right and it is a bomb? She takes the cloth and reveals a clear box with sandwiches inside. This is worse than a bomb. With a bomb my death would have been quick. With these I am going to die a slow and painful death. I am fully aware of this as it has happened before. Well. Not entirely. I have never been killed before but I have had food made by Rise before. I am already ill so the next stage is being dead. She looks up to me, smiles and says "I've been practising." She forces a sandwich at me and watches me waiting for me to try it. "I want to know what you think." She says again as she sets the box down again. I had hoped I would live today. Guess I'll have to finish all that work I have some other time. 'Stop being so dramatic' I tell myself. Maybe she got better.

**| The next day |**

The last thing I remember after biting into this thing was falling backwards and everything turning black. I'm on a bed in a room I've never been in before. I look at my watch and it is somehow earlier than it was when I last looked. How many days have I been here? My head still hurts. My eyes feel heavy. I go back to sleep.

So yes. That is all Rise wanted. She wanted me to try her 'food' because she had been practising. Now I am here in what I can only assume is a bed at the hospital with food poisoning. I can not leave as to do so would result in me passing out somewhere down the hall and be in this exact same place within a few minutes. I look at Rise who is standing next to me and give a small, and fake, smile. She looks at me with a sad face and begins to apologise to me repeatedly. "I'm sooo sorry." She begins. "I really thought I had gotten better." She adds. Rise then finish with "Chie-chan said it was good and that I should ask what you thought of it." I think to myself about that. How is it that Chie survived and I only barely got out of it alive? I tell Rise that it's fine and that she should go home. I then lie down and rest.

**| The next day |**

Sometime yesterday I returned to my home and went to sleep. When I woke up again it was morning. It is about 7 AM and I'm deciding on what to have for breakfast. I look through the cupboards but they contain only tinned cans. I guess I could have soup. It's Saturday today so I can't call anyone till they finish school. I realise that Rise must have skipped school two days in a row. I'll have to talk to her about that. Her grades are bad enough without bad attendance. I also realise that I haven't been in contact with anyone other than Rise and Teddie since Wednesday at the train station. Only Rise came to see me at the hospital. Then again she was the only one that knew I was there and it wasn't anything really serious. I guess it doesn't matter. I'll see if any of them want to go somewhere tomorrow. I give up with looking for breakfast and walk to the window. It's raining heavy. I feel a little better than I did yesterday. I could go out. There isn't much to do though and everyone is at school. I'm bored.

I think back to how things used to be while 'he' was still here. Almost everyday we would all see each other. Maybe now that he is gone I don't have a place there anymore... That's not right. Our friendship isn't supported by just him. I hope it isn't... I mean. Maybe? I'm over thinking things again. Everything is fine. I'm just bored.

Teddie doesn't do school. I decide to try calling him.

**So umm. Sorry. I don't think this one was as good. Not much happens in this part but Don't leave now D: Things will get interesting soon. Persona 4 had a slow start but look how that went. Anyway please tell me what you thought of this chapter. Any good reviews make me feel better about my work ;p and any criticism helps me to improve my work. **


	3. Should I get rid of my Pistol?

Without you | Chapter 3 – Should I get rid of my Pistol?

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Persona or Atlus (someone PM me. Do I need to write this for every chapter? Thanks ^^)**

'Why do I own a handgun?' I think to myself as I stare at the newly made hole in my door just above Teddies head. His eyes are wide. I can't tell if he is shocked or happy that I missed. My aim must be off. I'll have to practice later. In my defence this was all Teddies fault. Had he simply rang the doorbell instead of sneaking in and surprising me my door would not have its battle wound and Teddie would not have Post traumatic me shooting him in the face disorder. I'm beginning to wonder if this is partially to blame for my lack of friends recently. I should really stop having shooting people as my go to defence method. It works so well though.

I walk out the house dragging the still frozen Teddie then close the door behind me, useless as that may be now, and drag him and my still tired self to the central shopping district.

Teddie seems calm now. I bought us each a coffee when we arrived. Teddie ran into the textile shop and I had no choice but to follow and so that is why I'm standing here watching Kanjis mother use Teddie as a model. I'm not interested in this kind of thing. My mind begins to wonder towards the idea that Teddie and Kanji would be a good couple. I quickly avoid going through this as I don't want to be the kind of person that pairs all of their friends together. I take out my pocket notebook and begin drawing pictures of Kanji x Teddie. Once I realise what I am doing I burn the pages with my lighter. Teddie runs towards me wearing a kimono. I don't thing guys are supposed to wear those... I don't bring this up. Without any word Teddie throws two shopping bags at me then asks me to pay for it. "No." I say to him bluntly as I put the shopping bags on the floor and walk out.

It's still bright out and I'm feeling more awake now than I did earlier. I lost Teddie somewhere in the district. Should I look for him? Suddenly I receive a text. 'Sorry. Got busy. See you later.' It's from Teddie. I don't feel like going home yet. I head towards the school and wait outside for the others. It shouldn't be long till they finish now.

It's late. It's dark. It's raining. I hate everything. I waited for hours as people came out of that school only to find that it is massively overpopulated and that people are stupid. I could see the others and as I tried to approach them a flood of students came running out of the school. This had the nice effect of separating me from the group and by the time the massive herd of idiots had thinned out enough so that I could hear myself think again the others had disappeared leaving me to stand there and wonder into the school thinking that maybe they had gone back in there. I was wrong and just as I was leaving a teacher caught me. This began the conversation of where I had been for the past few days and if I had any intention of coming back to school. It felt like hours and must have been because when I finally managed to escape it had become dark. It was not until I got to the school gates that life decided that 'No. Naoto Shirogane has not had enough for one day. Lets see how far we can push her.' And so that is why I am here. That is why I am once again running home at night in the rain and why none of it was my fault. Maybe life would be somewhat easier without the burdens that others bring? I mustn't think like that... It's true that people can cause 'minor' problems but they are still my friends. They understand me and care about me... And I care about them. I do sometimes feel a little out of place though... being the last to join the group. They've all been friends much longer so maybe I am the odd one out...?

I'm still running but I'm getting tired. I can hear the rain falling heavily onto my hat and bouncing off onto the ground. I run faster and faster but I realise that I can't see where I am going. I'm running based on what I can remember from the last time but this is taking longer than I remember. "Ah!" I scream as I fall over what must be a rock and hit the ground fast.

**| 03/26 Sunday |**

I open my eyes to see Dojima-san looking down at me, the early morning sun shining behind him. He is wearing his usual attire cigarette included. He has a worried look on his face but seems a little relieved that my eyes are open. "What's going on?" I ask leaning up into a sitting position. I notice the small pool of blood on the ground from where I lay. I move my hand to the back of my head to feel where it's coming from. My hair seems to be drenched in blood but I can't find the cut. I bring my hand in front of me and look at the crimson liquid dripping through my fingers. "I just found you here in the street. How did you get here?" He asks me as he assists me in standing. He's almost an entire foot taller than me. I struggle to stay standing and he offers me his shoulder to lean on. I accept his offer and throw my arm over his shoulder. I feel dizzy. "I was... on my way home. I must have tripped." I tell him. He gives me an unpleasant stare as if I was his child and he had just caught me trying to drink alcohol. I guess that's what I must seem like to him. I mean... He is in his forties isn't he?

Dojima-san dropped me off at the local hospital. There I was given stitches in the back of my head and some headache medicine. I was advised by the doctor to go home and clean the blood out of my hair. I guess I'll just take a shower and go to sleep.

After having showered and gotten changed I'm lying on my bed with my hat over my face. I was supposed to go see the others today but that plan seems to have gone away. The least I expect is a phone call... As I think that my phone begins to ring. I take it from my bedside desk and read the name that causes my heart to stop for a second. The caller ID reads 'Narukami.' I stare at the name unable to move. My hand holding the phone seems to be shaking. What's wrong with me? Can I not look at his name without this feeling of... I don't know what to call it. I look again at the phone in my hand. Why was he calling? What could he possibly want? Why am I not picking up? I don't know... I don't know! Why am I getting like this?!

**Part 3... It's uh.. this. This one took a while for reasons but I like it.-. But that doesn't really matter. Do you people like it? I need to know if I'm screwing up. I'm thinking about doing another story like this but for Kanji. They could link and be like two perspectives of one story or just two completely different things. Who knows? Enjoy ^^**


	4. Why has he made this?

Without you | Chapter 4 – Why has he made this?

**Thanks EvilWaffleS for telling me I don't need a disclaimer here anymore. A little less work for me :D**

I cant do this. Not now. Not yet. Not ever. I don't want to talk to him. I do want to talk to him. I'm so confused. The phone is still ringing after what feels like hours. How long is he going to keep this up? It seems so loud yet no neighbours have called to complain. It's giving me a headache. I can't think straight. Then it stops. I look at the phone in my hand and think to myself 'I made the right choice.' I set the phone on my bedside table and lie down. It begins to ring again and I quickly jump up and answer it. I changed my mind.

"Hello?" Comes a voice from within the phone. He sounds tired and a little confused. I'm not sure why he called so late at night. He could have just waited till morning. "Hey." I respond calmly attempting to hide the fact that I was almost going crazy a few minutes earlier with my amazing ability to lie about how I feel. I'm beginning to regret the choice I made in answering this call. My stomach feels... Strange. "I heard from Dojima that you got into an accident. He said you had to got hurt." I feel the back of my head. Still hasn't healed and there is a small amount of dry blood in my hair that I couldn't get out. "I-I'm fine." He knows I'm lying and refuses to drop the subject. Eventually I cave in and explain to him in as little detail as possible the events of my injury. I don't know how he does this. Ever since I met him he has been able to get anyone to talk. It's unfair if you're trying to hide something from him.

"W-why do you care?" I ask. "Last I checked you didn't seem that interested in talking to me." Why am I saying this? I don't want to. These are my personal thoughts. I can't tell him. "I wanted to make sure you were ok." I don't know why but I'm feeling angry at him. It's not that I'm mad because he's checking up on me. It's more... I don't know how to put it. It got to a point where he stopped talking to me outside of the TV world. It's not just that though. He always made up some excuse as to why we couldn't spend much time together. The first that comes to mind is Christmas eve. HE was the one that came to me and invited me to spend Christmas eve with him. Then the night before he cancels and tells me that he's busy. Later on I found out from Rise that the two of them were at his house at the time. The same applies for almost any other time he invited me to do something. Always Rise. I feel he must of favoured her over me...

In my defence I regret everything I said to him after that point. I went a little overboard and told him never to call me again and that I hated him and wished he would die. I guess regretting it isn't much of a defence. I felt really bad after and couldn't sleep. It's been about three hours. I'm so tired but I can't get it out of my head. I didn't even stay to hear his response. I just hung up and turned my phone on silent. I need to forget this whole thing. I wonder if Kanji is doing anything tomorrow after school. He always seems somewhat easy to speak to. I can be myself. I don't have to be a detective. I can just be me. With that in mind I manage to get a little sleep.

**| 03/27 Monday |**

There seems to be a letter in my school locker. The envelope is pink. I choose to leave it there for now. I attend school as usual and once lessons have finished for the day I approach Kanji. I feel that this may end awkwardly yet fast. I look at him and before I can talk he notices me and hides his face behind a book. I'm not quite sure why but I can only assume he must be afraid of girls still. I begin to wonder if I made the right choice in trying to talk to him. I turn to go home but before I can he speaks. "Hey, uh.. Need something?" I turn to him thinking of how to respond. I could straight out tell him that I want to talk or I could run away. The latter of these two seems to be the better choice but that would be rude of me and I don't want to give the wrong impression to Kanji. "Actually yes, If you don't mind I would like you to accompany me to the central shopping district. There are some... matters I wish to discuss with you." I feel as though he may refuse. It is in his nature to avoid girls. Actually I'm not so sure of that. He seems to be fine around the others so why does he act this way around me? I don't know. It's not important. I await his refusal but he doesn't speak. Instead he hands me a small package and then runs off still covering his face with a book. I hear his shout of pain when I can only assume that he hit a wall. By the time I get to the hall he is gone. I sigh and look at the package in my hand. It's addressed to me so I guess I'll open it when I get home.

For once it is not raining. I can stay dry as I return home. Even though I was lucky this time I still need to start bringing my umbrella to school. Upon thinking that I am safe I let my guard down only to be immanently tackled to the ground by what can only be described as an angry and/or dying cat with razor blades stuck in its throat. This creature is otherwise known as Rise. Before I can react in any way she is already lying on my back, wearing my hat and messing with my hair. I remind her that I am not a toy be attempting to hit her as hard as I can in the face. Unfortunately she is heavier than I am and so with the extra weight of her lying on me I am unable to move. It is at this point that I realise that I left the package from Kanji in my locker. Why that came to mind at this point is a mystery but Rise is heavy and I can use it as an excuse to get away. "Rise. I forgot something. I need to go back so could you please stop lying on me." She is in a world of her own. I don't understand how she can be so heavy while not looking it at all. After giving up and just lying on the floor I am eventually saved by a teacher passing by.

Rise apologises many times and accompanies me to my locker. Once I have the package in my hands she reads the label. She points out that this is Kanjis handwriting. I make her aware of who handed my the package. I leave out the part where he runs off into a wall. I feel a sense of freedom when Rise tells me that she has somewhere to be. She runs ahead out of school while waving back to me. I stay standing till she is out of sight and then begin my walk home.

My house is colder than usually. I notice this before noticing that there is a new door. I don't know what's wrong. My perception must be a little off. I blame the cold. I set the package onto the table in the lounge and go to the kitchen to make a drink of something hot. Possibly coffee.

If coffee – Dojima's fault.

It would be highly unlikely for Kanji to send a bomb to my house so I can cross that off of the possibilities of what could be in this package. I carefully open it to find a letter with very little text and another small box about the size of my hand. The letter goes as:

'Naoto,

What's in the box is for you. If you don't like it just throw it out and forget about it.

~Kanji

One other thing. Come see me at my house next week. I want to talk to you about some stuff.'

I'm unsure as to how I should respond. I look towards the box on the table. I wonder what he wants. I wonder what he's put in this box. I wonder if he'll be able to talk to me without running off again. Guess I'll leave him alone till then...

I open the box and find a small hand made doll. Upon closer inspection I notice that this is a doll of myself. Why would Kanji give me this? Did he make it himself? I must admit that it is well made. I like it... I take a closer look. Same eye colour, same clothes and hair, even has my hat. I'm a little confused still as to what it's purpose is. For now I want to sleep. The doll can stay on my bookcase. I lie down onto my bed and fall to sleep. Maybe tomorrow I'll make a visit to the city after school. I'm still a detective after all. I can't just stop working and I don't want to get used to not working.

**Another one done. I began to get really tired towards the end of this. I'm sorry if its not as good. I'll make up for it in the next chapter I promise D: somehow... Please tell me what you thought in the reviews ^^ It will help me improve and so I'll be able to write better stuff. We both win. I don't have the whole specific deadlines thing going on right now but if you want one I'll make one. I can't promise it will be as often as every week. Maybe every two weeks. Just tell me what you think is best. See you next time._.**


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